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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?